"Bev" had been weeping as she entered the reception room, and was still weeping some ten minutes
after she sat down in my office. Offers of tea, and other attempts to reach her had failed miserably, so I
called her friend, "Gwen" (who had driven her to the session) in from the reception room into my office
"I'm a psych nurse," Gwen explained, and then said very compassionately, "Bev has suffered a grievous
loss. We both work at the hospital, and we have excellent counselling support there. Bev is not
responding to grief counselling very well, and we are now concerned she is suicidal."
As I began to digest the implications, Gwen, after looking over at Bev, and apparently responding to some
silent communication good friends have, continued. "Everything was going well with Bev's pregnancy. All
the staff were excited, and bent over backwards to sneak in a visit with Bev. Someone was with her all the
time. All the tests indicated a perfectly healthy birth, and would probably be an easy one." Then even Gwen
became silent, and that inner voice told me we were nearing the crux of Gwen's narration. "Anyway," she
continued in a softer voice, "Something went terribly wrong. Her baby was stillborn."
I glanced over at Bev, who still was crying softly, head down, cradled in her hands, and, if she was
listening, there was no indication that I could read.
"Has she responded at all?" I asked.
"Not really, we seem to reach her for a second or so, then she goes inside again," Gwen responded, now
taking her friend's hand gently.
Gwen continued, "You worked with 'Harry,' a good friend of mine. He said you had used a hands on
technique, and he felt it might reach Bev. Do you think it will?"
I mustered up as much confidence as I could, steadied my voice, and said, "Let's find out." After Gwen
conferred with Bev, and once again reading the non verbal response between them that still eluded me,
Gwen said, "She's okay with you trying."
We began the first round with my doing the tapping on Bev (she couldn't tap herself). I first tapped the P.R.
point on the side of her hand and I must have tapped it for at least twenty seconds or so before the words
came to me. "Even though I have been through a terrible shock, and have left my body, because it's far too
painful to be in there, and it will take time to get past this, now, and begin to heal, I completely and deeply
accept myself." Bev did not respond, so I said this for her, three times.
I then tapped the other points using the reminder phrase, "This terrible tragedy." No apparent change in
I then did the 9 Gamut, and when I asked Bev to hum, there was no response. "Just think you're humming,"
I said gently, and continued on. We did the same with the counting, and the follow-up humming. Without
even consciously thinking about it, I then tapped the sequence for Neurological Disorganization, and then,
tapping the 9 Gamut point again, asked Bev to follow Gwen's hand as it moved up from Bev's knee in such
a way that Bev's eyes finished looking up at the ceiling.
Her eyes were now open, and this was the first time I'd been able to see them since the session began.
"Let's do another round," I suggested, and as I broke eye contact to take her hand, a small voice said, "I
can't accept myself, and I can't accept what happened."
Both Gwen and I stared at Bev. Then we looked at each other. The look on Gwen's face told me she was
running a full gamut of different emotions, and was rendered practically speechless.
"My mistake," I said, turning my attention back to Bev. "Let's change some of those words." I then tapped
Bev's P.R. point again, and this time we used the words, "Even though I have suffered a terrible loss, and it
will take time to get past this, now, and begin to heal, I can at least accept that, now."
Perhaps it was my imagination, but I thought I could see some colour returning to Bev's blanched cheeks.
We then did another round for "This terrible loss," and as I reached over to lift Bev's arm to tap the
under-the-arm point, she raised it herself, without assistance. After this round, Bev struggled to find her
voice, and haltingly, she began to speak of the loss, the guilt (which we immediately tapped for, using the
phrase "This guilt"), the deep pain (then a round on "This deep pain"), the nightmares, (again, a round on
the nightmares, using "These nightmares" as a reminder phrase).
Near the end of the session, Gwen asked if she could also use EFT to help Bev. When I replied "Yes," she
immediately responded with, "Gee, I don't know if I can." I walked to her chair and said, smiling, "Your turn."
We did one round, using the phrase "This concern I can't do it right." We did not use the P.R. point. "That's
amazing," she said after a few moments. "I don't know why I thought that," obviously much relieved. "Does
it work when a person does it for themselves?"
"Think of a problem, something that bothers you," I suggested.
After a few moments of thought, Gwen said, "Well, I have this one patient that..." The look on her face told
me we were there. "Now, tap," I said, "And repeat the phrase 'This patient.'" Thirty seconds later, Gwen was
shaking her head, and said, "I'm looking forward to next week." Then, as an afterthought, added "Oh, is it
okay if I also come with Bev to her next session?" After assuring her it would be my pleasure, we
concluded the session.
I have seen Bev four times now. She has returned to work part-time, and we have cleared many of the
'triggers' a hospital environment provides -- a baby's cry, mothers embracing their newborns, snippets of
conversations overheard during rounds, just to name a few. Gwen has proven to be a quick study, and as
she puts it "learning to think about problems differently." "Now, instead of slipping into analyze mode," she
said, "I just say, 'Focus on the feeling, or this upset, or this reminder' -- however Bev describes it, and then
I tap her for it. It's wonderful to be able to help a friend so easily. By the way, when you used yourself to
demonstrate the points on our first visit, you were really settling yourself down, weren't you?" Gwen asked,
with a twinkle in her eyes.
She really is a quick study indeed.
|EFT ARTICLES: EFT For Mother's
Grief After A Stillbirth
|"Something went terribly wrong.
Her baby was stillborn... You worked
with 'Harry,' a good friend of mine.
He said you had used a hands on
technique, and he felt it might reach
Bev. Do you think it will?"
I mustered up as much confidence
as I could, steadied my voice, and
said, "Let's find out."
|EILEEN SULLIVAN, CERTIFIED EFT PRACTITIONER (EFTCERT-I) EMAIL: AREYOUTAPPING (AT) YAHOO (DOT) COM (704) 905-4665
While EFT has produced remarkable clinical results, it has only been in use in its current form since 1992. Therefore, it must still be considered to be in the experimental stage. You are an expert on your own health, so please take full responsibility for
your use of EFT. Eileen Sullivan is not a licensed health professional. She offers EFT as a certified EFT practitioner, ordained interfaith minister, and certified holistic doula. Where appropriate, please consult your healthcare practitioners regarding your
use of EFT. It is VITAL to note that you should not stop taking any prescribed medications, nor alter your dosage, without the advice of the prescribing physician.
|E M O T I O N A L F R E E D O M T E C H N I Q U E S ( E F T ) F O R F E R T I L I T Y , P R E G N A N C Y , B I R T H & B E Y O N D
|This EFT oriented website is provided as a public courtesy to help expand the use of EFT in the world. While Gary Craig, the founder of EFT, encourages such efforts, he cannot evaluate or endorse the multitudes of EFT websites that exist.
This website represents the good faith ideas of its author, but not necessarily those of Gary Craig. You can learn more about EFT, including EFT training and certification programs, by visiting the EFTUniverse.com website.